WAYS TO HANDLE UNGRATEFUL PEOPLE

When a similar experience happens over and over in a short period of time, what do you call that?

A reoccurrence? A coincidence? Fate? Perhaps a lesson or maybe even a test?

Whatever you want to call it, I have learned (sometimes the hard way) that I need to take notes.

These last couple of weeks things have been more strenuous than usual. Not only with projects that I'm working on but with relationships and more specifically, my attitude.

It's almost like I can sit back and watch my attitude and thoughts go astray. Even without any prompting from others.

Which is unusual for me because most often I only get like this when I'm around those who work my nerves.

I heard a preacher say that she was always in a great mood until her husband and children came home haha.

I wanted to preface what I'm about to tell you with the fact that my demeanor has been edgy lately so it's possible that I'm over-reacting a bit. Either way, it's an invaluable lesson for me.

There have been 3 instances when I had to stop what I was doing to help others. This includes but is not limited to, rearranging my schedule, canceling appointments, hiring a babysitter, using my hard earned money, foregoing my "self-care day" and a plethora of other things in order for me to oblige the requests of these individuals.

Which I happily did. And I really mean this. I did not do these things begrudgingly. I was glad to help.

But I swear I'm not making this up when I tell you that all three of these individuals did not say thank you.

Furthermore, one of them flat out said what I did was not enough. My reaction wasn't pleasant. Neither was the exchange on words between the two of us.

Side note: her name has been officially changed in my contacts to "Audacity" lol.

However, I am happy to say that I apologized and smoothed things over.

By the third time of this happening, I asked myself a question.

"Do you give of yourself for the 'thank you' or do you give of yourself for the pleasure of giving?"

Of course the answer is the latter.

There is even a Scripture that backs this up. It says that when you give, do not let your right hand know what the left has done. Basically indicating that nobody needs to know what you do other than our Heavenly Father.

And that includes you. Don't keep records of all that you do for others. Don't expect their appreciation or even the return of the favor.

This can be a hard pill to swallow. Especially when they are ungrateful, unappreciative and flat out unreasonable.

The easy road is to say you'll never help them again (with a bunch of explicits included.)

But the narrow path, the road less traveled is to say, I give of myself freely and I release any and all expectation of a return from them.

Understand there is a huge difference between expecting a return from the person you've helped verses expecting a return from The Giver.

It would be foolish of us to plant a seed in the ground and think "I don't want a harvest from this seed. I enjoyed planting."

When we sow, expect a harvest.

When you give, expect it to be given back. But release the need to know how, when, where and from who it will be given.

And if you feel resentment towards the person who was ungrateful, constantly work at trying to change your thoughts towards them. Be creative and think of good qualities that they possess.

If that doesn't work, make it your objective to pray for them and ask God to give them everything that you desire for yourself or for someone you hold dear.

We all have emotions, feelings, sensitivities and a heart that is fragile. When these things happen, it's best that we take a step back and try and see the whole picture. Ask yourself tough questions even if you don't like the answer.

YOU ARE DESIGNED TO REIGN IN LIFE

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