THERMOMETER VERSES THERMOSTAT

Anyone with little knowledge of these two scientific tools understands the difference between them.

In case you are are unsure, let me offer a simple explanation.

A thermometer measures temperature, while a thermostat regulates temperature.

Indulge me while I give you a glimpse into my life and what I'm currently navigating my way through.

I recently had a "once in a lifetime" meeting and if I were to be honest, I'm still a little in shock that I even had the door of opportunity opened to do so.

Prior to the encounter, I was a nervous wreck. I tried deep breathing, stretching, listening to the sound of rain, a long therapy session in a hot shower and none of these helped.

Usually any one of them easily combats any anxiety or feelings below my typical joyous, confident, graceful demeanor.

As the clock ticked closer I felt even more tense.

In retrospect, I should have used my emotional guidance indicators and made some adjustments, but I was the one who initiated the meeting.

When I tell you I did everything, short of falling on my knees begging for this opportunity, I am being factual.

For me to cancel on short notice because my nerves were haywire was not an option.

To make a long, painful and embarrassing story short, I may have fumbled so badly that a recovery is impossible.

Before you feel sorrow for me, understand that I truly live life knowing that ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR MY GOOD - even when I am the one at fault.

I am the one at fault in this situation. So before I proceed with some details of this meeting, please know and understand what I just said.

On this day, (maybe because of my nervousness, maybe not) I was not the thermostat.

I did not set the temperature of the room. I did not establish the settings.

In fact, I was the thermometer. I measured the temperature of the other participant and I followed their lead.

If something was said with doubt or uncertainty, I became twice as doubtful. If a statement was made that left me confused, I twisted my thoughts in a million different ways to be sure the confusion could not be untangled.

I have given more time than I would like to admit replaying exactly what went wrong on my behalf.

Had I truly been one with my inner being, I would have been the thermostat. I would have initiated a more calm, confident, tactful version of myself.

Once I was instituted this, the actions and reactions of the other person would have been irrelevant.

I would have set my control and regulated the room. If things were heating up, I would cool them down by making a cheerful joke. If things were getting cold and uncomfortable, I could then add warmth through authenticity.

Most importantly, I would have regulated my emotions. I know better than to allow doubt, fear, insecurities, etc to over take my mind.

I'm guessing because I wanted this to go well so desperately, I foolishly let these intrusive thoughts override.

Fortunately for me, I will get another chance. Possibly not with the same team, but nonetheless, another time to be put to the test.

Allow life to teach you - I said "teach," not criticize, beat up, or ridicule. We are students forever.

YOU ARE DESIGNED TO REIGN IN LIFE

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