STOP CRITICIZING YOURSELF

Years ago when lip fillers began their popularity I decided to go get some.

I arrived a little early for my appointment so I sat in my car taking selfies of my lips while simultaneously googling pictures of the perfect lip size I desired.

Awaiting the doctor, I began looking at the brochures of all of the cosmetic surgeries offered. By the time I went into the room, I had a full list of things I wanted done.

And so our consultation began. He handed me a mirror and I started my long list of improvements I wanted.

He sat patiently and listened to me as I went on a full rant. When I was finished he sat quiet. Then he said these words that changed my entire life.

"I can make you look perfect. I will break all of the mirrors in your home." You can imagine my reaction to this. My head went to the side, I rolled my eyes and sighed.

After we both laughed, he began rebutting every improvement I desired. He actually went through the same list I gave him and he told me how my lips were naturally beautiful, my eyelids were in perfect symmetry to my eyes, my jowls, jaws, and every other "j" word was fine. Absolutely fine. I said, "well can I at least get some botox haha?"

I walked out of his office a different person than who walked in. And it wasn't my lip size that changed.

During my "transformation" I gave up social media. Discipling my mind was one aspect of this decision, but the other was because of my insecurities. Social media fueled my need for affirmations from others.

I compared myself to other women and that made me look at myself with disgust. So I did what I knew would make me feel validated. I posted a picture of myself. Sometimes it was just a selfie, other times it would be of me in the gym and if I was really feeling down I would post a full body picture. The "likes", comments and dm's patronized my insecurities.

Now you have a better understanding of why it was crucial for me to walk away from my social media platforms.

I would love to tell you that was all it took in order for me to feel better about myself. However, it wasn't. I had to stand in front of the mirror and acknowledge all the good that I saw. I do this daily.

I worked very hard to get to where I currently am. I feel as good as I look and I look as good as I feel.

If I don't like how I look, I dim the lights. If I feel fat, I change my angle. If I think I am old, I visit the nursing home. If I'm tempted to compared myself to others on social media, I realize they are mostly filtered and photo-shopped images.

I certainly don't ignore or turn a blind eye to changes that need to be made particularly with my health, but I no longer let self doubt or the lack of self-confidence dictate my life.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I am the only one whose opinion counts. I am whole - lacking nothing. I say this with all humility, I am nobody but I am her.

YOU ARE LOVED, CHOSEN AND ENOUGH!!

YOU ARE DESIGNED TO REIGN IN LIFE

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