INCREASING EMPATHY

All throughout the year we are bombarded with people holding their hands out in the hope of an onlooker to toss some change in their bucket, but even more so during the holiday seasons.

I'm certainly not going to attempt a debate on what most of the beggars do with the money they collect, nor will I try and persuade another to give.

What I want to do is share with you some things that I have learned in the recent years. Also, a very "rude awakening" that slapped me in the face this past week.

I grew up in the "hood" (for those who are unfamiliar with this word, simply put is the neighborhood that meets criteria for being high in crime, poverty, substance abuse, unemployment and mostly minorities.)

Walking down the street seeing someone lying on the ground begging for money was a typical occurrence. The older I got and the more vagabonds I encountered, the less compassionate I became.

When I moved to the outskirts of the city I didn't expect to see some of the things that I saw living in the inner city.

I was one of the first houses that was built in our housing development so at the time I had very few neighbors. When the house next to me was complete, an older single white man moved in that I later named "Mr. Brooks."

I had recently watched a horror film with an older white man that seemingly looked normal but had a very dark side to him once the sun went down.

After watching this scary movie, I noticed that my new neighbor would leave every night after dark and come back several hours later.

Me being a bit paranoid and a busybody, I would peak out of my window just to make sure he wasn't carrying dead bodies to and from his car!! I was sure I survived living in the hood only to make it out and be murdered by my neighbor haha.

I didn't ever witness a horrific crime but what I learned about "Mr. Brooks" was equally disturbing. He was an alcoholic and when he would leave at night he would visit a local bar and drink until he could barely walk. He would then drive himself home each night and stumble to his front door.

Each year that passed, his parking would display how his alcoholism was worsening and destroying him. In fact, one day he was parked so crooked that I had to go check to be sure he didn't hit something.

Another time, I found him slumped over in the driver's seat. Me, being "Miss Perfect", shook my head at his behavior and I constantly bad mouthed him to my family members. Thankfully I had enough intellect in me not to run his name through the mud to anyone outside of my house.

Well, last week I ran into a friend at the gym and she asked about this neighbor. When I told her that he sold his house and moved a couple years back she went on to tell me something that crushed me.

I want to pause this blog in order to reiterate that I am no longer the person that I was. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am now and it was not an easy journey. These days I am very careful with the conversations that I have with others. If someone begins a story that I feel will end up in gossip, I politely stop them.

However, this day, I know I was supposed to hear what my friend was about to reveal to me.

She said, "did you know that his son died?" When I said no I didn't know that, she went on to tell me that he had a son that was in a fatal car accident and through a series of unfortunate events, my neighbor blamed himself for the death of his son.

All of those years I sat in judgment of this neighbor, not one time did it cross my mind to wonder why he would destroy his life with alcohol.

Knowing the reasons now, I'm unsure if it would have changed anything, but I do believe that I would have had more compassion and understanding for him.

"Love covers a multitude of sin." - 1 Peter 4:8

Loving the unlovable, loving the rude, loving the dirty, this is the ultimate duty of mankind. Understanding that not every one is going to be as happy as we are, not everyone will be forgiving and have patience.

Another Scripture that stung deep with me is "Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord..." - Proverbs 19:17

The reason this stung for me is because I used to look at the beggar with judgmental eyes, now I understand that when I give, I give unto the Lord.

I firmly believe there a laws that govern giving and I will gladly share my perspective in the coming weeks.

For this time of the year when bells are ringing for charity, hands are out pleading, and opportunities of judging humanity are bountiful, it is my hope to increase the ability to understand and share in the feelings of others that are on the receiving end.

We all have a story. We also all have the ability to write and sometimes rewrite our paths. God created us in His image and His likeness. God is love.

YOU ARE DESIGNED TO REIGN IN LIFE

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